I want to help you not just survive, but THRIVE in these uncertain times. Here is your daily dose of inspiration – because if we set our compass right, we can sail through this!
“You only have control over 3 things in your life: the thoughts you think, the images you visualise, & the actions you take” – Jack Canfield
Tip # 25: Cultivate your inner coach & mute your inner critic
You will have noticed that many of my 50 tips are to do with mindset. In times of change or uncertainty, it is our mindset that becomes our most valuable tool. Whether you have felt much impact from the pandemic or not, cultivating a powerful and robust mindset will ALWAYS be a great investment.
This tip is about really getting clear on the way you talk to yourself. Is your inner voice (the one that narrates most of our experience and writes the story we tell ourselves about what is happening) an inner coach, or an inner critic?
A critic interprets what is happening around you in a way that makes you feel powerless. It highlights where you have done wrong or fallen short, without offering you any way to move forward. It focuses on comparing you to others or to an imaginary perfect version of yourself. When things go well, a critic says it was luck. When things don’t go well it blames and pinpoints every choice you could have made differently.
An inner coach interprets what is happening in a way that empowers you to learn from mistakes, grow and take risks. It identifies where you could have made better choices, only so you can learn from them. It doesn’t dwell in how things could have been different. It reveals both your strengths and weaknesses and searches for ways that you can grow, to move forward. It congratulates you, it takes stock of how far you have already come, it believes you can go further.
A critic is anchored to lack, but a coach is anchored to the vision of what you are working towards and want to help you get there.
The confirmation bias in our brains means that whichever voice you are hearing, you will see evidence around you to prove it right. So be aware of who has the microphone in there: try to mute the inner critic and engage more deeply with your inner coach.
Resilient, by Rick Hanson
Your key to lasting happiness, self-love and inner peace
‘A master of his craft’ – Prof Mark Williams, bestselling author of Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world.